Updated: Aug 30
Kimbody meant of Leo Rising
I woke up this morning, my body so heavy I can barely move. It was as if there was a 50 lb weighted blanket holding me in place. It seemed intentional, so that I could not move nor distract myself from the burning/churning/hallowing out that was happening from the fire running through my veins and muscles and cells. The body knows, the body knows.
Here, there is a mournfulness, a sorrow, a lonely cry. A scream that is not silent, only unheard by those unwilling to bear witness to its pain, for fear of their own fragility. The body knows, the body knows.
I see the faces of my friends, first the white ones and then the ones of color in whom whiteness has taken hold, for all their best efforts. The body knows, the body knows,
I take long slow deep exhaling breaths to expel the flames of centuries old energy that had to be bottled up in order for us to survive. In your thimbles full of water I am supposed to be grateful. And yet, for sake of friendship, for our shared liberation, my body’s need for safety is trying to push its way to the surface of something that might seem welcoming only to get close to realize that the BODIES’ conditioning is stronger than desire. And unless addressed will win every time. The body knows, the body knows.
I am in my body now. Fully and completely. Its a lovely place to be. Trusting nothing else, other than the wisdom found in my body and spirit. The mind can serve that but only when called upon. The body knows, the body knows.
TO MY BELOVEDS WHO EMBODY WHITENESS…
In your presence and from a heart that I know loves me, your energy still causes me pain, because you refuse to look at the ways in which white BODY supremacy moves, without your even knowing it. The body knows, the body knows.
It is THAT ingrained and automatic. Like we say Bless you when someone sneezes. A million times and centuries of practice more ingrained than that. The body knows, the body knows.
I fear losing my friendships, I can feel that in my body. I also know that I, and others who look like me, will die trying to survive the white BODY fragility that you refuse to settle. It makes it impossible to be in truly EMBODIED allyship much less accomplish-ship. The body knows the body knows.
We can’t think our way out of this. As Resmaa Menkaem says, we have been taught to think about race, but it’s not in our thinking, it’s in our bodies. We can heal in and through our bodies towards a shared BODY liberation. The body knows the body knows.
Breathe and understand that it is imperceptible to you and can only be seen in the reflection of someone it impacts. When offered such a gift of reflection, if courageous and curious, you can engage your body’s wisdom for the truth, once grounded. The body knows, the body knows.
On the other side is the shared sense of connection we so deeply long for. We have the tools and directions. I will meet you there. The body knows, the body knows.
After this experience, we decided to prioritize launching our Embodied Racism course this Fall. This work is so critical right now.